Step by Step = Full Circle

So, I have this hunch I've got to write. Again, it's been literally weeks but here goes. The problem is I'm not exactly sure what about. As usual, I can follow the Spirits guiding but like in areas of my life, I stutter due to the fact that I can't see whats ahead of me. Even now, I shake my head at that statement. What a brat, I think. MOST people I know have no idea whats ahead of them, what makes you different or special? In other words we have a right to question things at certain times but we just can't stay there. I've heard it said that until we take the first step towards anything, its very unlikely that we will ever see or know the following steps. They will only be revealed as we take the FIRST one. But wait, the FIRST one is scary. Its too big, too much, too out of the box. What will people think or say or do? The FIRST step often feels as though there are no other steps!! Uh oh, then what? Think like an infant for a moment. Again, this is someone elses analogy but stay with me. The baby wants to walk and knows it needs to walk (God given nature). The baby isn't really sure how to walk, or what walking feels like, or sometimes isn't too familiar yet with what will result in the walking. However, with the guidance of the PARENT, everything changes. And you have seen it. We see the success of  healthy, sound babies who have every bit of the parents attention and love and how well they do with the overwhelming task. And then some of us have seen the baby who struggles to do what is predicted due to the parent that can't or won't spend the time to teach them. I'm glad to say my FATHER is completely in love with me! He won't for one minute take His eyes off of me while I take those first few scary, wobbly steps! He's guiding me, by His hand or sometimes both hands. As children of God, we don't have to worry that we have ended up with the parent who doesn't care of we ever walk, therefore leading to a debilitating, crippling life. NO. He is ONLY interested in the success, victory and freedom of seeing all of His children grow. What an opportunity we have. If we CHOOSE HIS will for our lives, then He is in it. Head first, all the way, completely and totally IN IT with us! We  have a choice. We can like many, choose our own path for our lives. God won't force us to do things His way. But its a tough road. He doesn't promise us the assistance we can get when we go with Him. He loves us either way. He loves us whichever road we choose, however the consequences can be GREAT by choosing our way. We are human and without communion with His Holy Spirit, how lost we can become. He will be there to meet us, anytime, anywhere. Thats how good God is and how much He loves us. But, my challenge is this: wouldn't we rather just go with God no matter the cost? Its not paradise, and it gets tough too......but the upside is the confidence that you are walking with Him. Life can be hard either way. Here's a thought - we are going to mess up at some point, or several points along the way. I'd like to think that even when I get it wrong - major wrong- that I've got someone to help me along. I can depend on God to answer my SOS when things aren't quite comfortable or haven't gone the way I'd like. Not only that, if I stay close enough; I can even discern when the Spirit within me is saying "NO, that's not the way, that's not it." Rather than, not having a clue and trying to depend on my intellect or intuition. (thats scary!). There's a price on this road. God's path for us. The gift of His everlasting love and grace and mercy and everything else that HE IS is free. Always. Don't confuse that. The point I'm trying to make is that as humans, living in this fallen world there is sacrifice made to follow God. Our flesh wants what it wants. We have to want what the Spirit wants. OUCH! Yes. It hurts. A lot. For me, it is almost a CONSTANT battle that I didn't anticipate participating in. Spirit vs. Flesh. Wow. Sometimes such a fine line, too. Again, all we can do is daily (sometimes hourly!) continue to give every element of our lives BACK to God. See, I believe that this amazing, wonderful, free, blessed life that Amy Darby lives belongs to God. I started with God. I haven't always let Him have all of me, and others tried to steal me away from Him, but  again back to the battle.....but what I mean is that He started all of this and so I don't really own this (life)  but its my stinking human nature that continues to want to take hold. Hence, the "giving back."  That along with circumstances in our lives BELONG TO GOD. He promises to take anything and everything we are willing to LET Him have, and make it beautiful! (Is.61:3). I don't know where you are personally. I don't know what your mess is, what your "ashes" may be. For some its circumstances, for others its that stinking flesh I referred to. We all have battles. Some of us have WAY more batle than we would have ever dreamed of having. And lets admit it: no one LIKES fighting. But we have them, so what can we do? WE can do very little. In our own power, I mean. Very little.......In fact I've just about decided I have no interest in fighting alone. Yes, it takes work on my part. Effort. Dedication. Saying no to things, saying yes to some I'd rather not. (flesh) But for me, I desire life abundant (John 10:10). I want ALL things that God desires to give me. Its simply a choice, a decision. Where are you? Where do you want to be? In God, we can have and be whatever we want, according to His will, and He wants to give us the desires of our hearts! (Ps. 37:4)  And HE knows whats best for us anyhow. Remember, I started with Him - it only makes sense to do all I can to end with Him.

November.... Seriously??!

So Im convinced.....I will never, ever earn the blogger award. Its been a very long time since I have posted something, anything......but I'm not sure I have anything. I've been in a bit of transition I guess. Well, I know I have, and writing or sharing or whatever you choose to call this just hasn't been important. What has been? Trying to survive as a 'single mom' for starters. That has been interesting to say the least. I guess I didn't really have any expectations of how that would go.(and no i'm not a single mom, i'm just a wife who has a husband on short term assignment overseas). Duane's been gone since October 10th and it feels like its been a year. To beat it all he may not be home at Thanksgiving. I don't think him not home on a holiday is really the issue,  but the fact that it will be 9 weeks since we've seen him by the time he does make it home, thats different. Honestly, I am not upset about the possibility but its just that when you have a date in mind for someone to return and you have literally been on a countdown for that day; it tries to get to you. or shall I say it will try and get to ME. I don't want it to though. Here's the thought for the day. Can we really mentally make our minds up to not be sad/mad/discouraged/etc. and be successful? Is that all it takes? Mind over matter? Is it that simple? Can I really "just decide" that I'm not going to let this get to me along with all the other frustrations of a given day? I hope to God I can. I hope that I can continue to move through life as I know it and take it a day at a time and face whatever I have to face and stay encouraged. And that no matter what, have the strength  to get up and do it again the next day. I don't even want to do a countdown this time. In a way it will make it harder. And here's another thought. What is God trying to say to me? What does He want me to learn? There is purpose for this time, I do know that. I'm sure there's work for me to do somewhere and if I really want to , there are plenty of needs out there to meet. This time won't be in vain. I have 2 children to spend time with and to try and cherish. I have quiet time with Jesus to tend to and studying of the word that I am SUPER behind on. Oh and I have a house to keep clean and laundry.  Then there's taking care of myself. I  have to walk every day, try and pay attention to what I eat AND in a week or so I REALLY need to add something to my walking. Then there's the element of rest. I am not one to be proud of all the "down time" I've had or the hours that I actually sleep at night. For some reason it's like I expect to be superwoman and just sleep a little and keep going like Im battery operated. However, I know that I have to rest! I laugh because since Duane isn't here to chat with or watch TV with, I'm usually asleep by 9-10pm. I GET in bed sometimes at 8!! SO sad......but its working for me. Thats what we all have to do. Find what works. And it changes. Sometimes we are in seasons of barely any rest or sleep (which I don't recommend) and other times we feel like if we don't get more busy , we are just going to be lazy. Honestly though, we just never know what we are going to need or whats coming next in life. God does.  Try to appreciate where you are. I can remember thinking my life was just blah and I was in such a LULL, nothing going on and I felt as though I had no purpose at all. But then, I had to realize as someone told me: " enjoy the tranquility you are in". I took that advice, and I have passed it on to others. Now, when I feel that way I just figure that it's the calm before the storm. Like I am right where God wants me because God's getting me ready for the next task. The next season may be what I call a "working season" and I'd better rest while I can. Speaking of seasons, I am still learning that concept. But I do think I'm making progress. I surely hope! I don't know how to end this and I think there probably should be a sequel. Maybe some more talk about "seasons". For now, though I must go.....it's time to tend to the sheep. My little lambs anyway. God Bless!!!

LOVE REVOLUTION TIPS

I didn't forget.....OKAY it slipped but there's always time and room for the tips, so here they are:

1. SMILE. (easy, free, can be done anytime/anywhere)
2. Help someone at the supermarket, mall, wherever you may be. Get the door, return their cart for them, LET THEM GO AHEAD OF YOU IN LINE........(GASP). yeah, just try it. It can mean the world to the mom w/ 3 kids under 4 behind you or the elderly person with only ONE item when you have at least 20.
3. Call your church or ANY organization you may belong to and find out what benevolence needs there are. They are abundant and you may have exactly what someone else needs (material items, money or time). If you don't "belong" to something, call the local homeless shelter, orphanage or family and children's services.

REFUSE to do NOTHING!!

Here's to the 3rd week of October; make it count!

prospective

I am not in a good mood at the moment....doesn't that want to make you read on? However, I do think maybe I have a message, guess we'll see. I'm upset. I've already cried and I hate crying. I'm not even sure why. Other than I let myself sleep in later than I should, didn't brew coffee (on purpose), and Ella tells me at 7:30 she would like a lunchbox instead of the menu options and follows my frusteration with her own tears which tells me I'm outta line. I get them there on time but a minute or two later than usual. on the way home i could tell somethings not right and by the time i'm coming upstairs i'm losing it, and not understanding why. i've been distant lately from my quiet time with Jesus. I know thats probably the main reason everything seems like its falling apart. why can't i just make adjustments easier? and be more balanced w/ my time?  if i'm cranky b/c my morning isn't going as planned, why can't i just quit it with the expectations and say to myself: "self, this morning isn't going to go exactly as you would like, but acting like a 2 year old isn't going to help." thats not to say that we don't get passes once in a while to shed tears and feel down but i can't help but think that by doing that i could end up down for a long time and thats not what i want at all. so here's what i'm thinking now. i deserve an emotional MOMENT if i want one, all alone. i can't take things out on a 5 year old that really isn't at fault when we didn't discuss the menu last night (as she reminded me that she didn't know until this morning). and i can't be so fragile over my so very blessed little self just because things are hard. or tough. or lonely. maybe God is allowing me to feel something just so i can keep prospective. just as i headed up the stairs and felt the tears coming, i was reminded of some things. first of all, i am privaleged (sp?) enough to have driven my children to school this  morning, clothe them well, and had food for the lunchbox. i came home to a garage to park my vehicle in and a home thats more than enough, clean and warm and has everything i could possibly need for today in it and around it. i have the freedom to go and do as i please for the most part, and 4 more bags in my laundry room to take to the needy. i have abundance!!!! only because the good LORD has blessed me in so many ways! prospective...keeping it real. its like I just need a reminder and some time spent w/ Jesus and the Holy Spirit for some adjusting of my mind and attitude. i can feel  myself slipping.....and it wasn't just this morning. i've been without my peace for a few days, and it stinks!! i don't know if anyone out there will even understand this but here's hoping. we're all in this together. whomever may be reading - you're not alone. no matter whats going on, you aren't alone! thats an important message, and I need to hear it too.


COME UNTO ME, ALL OF YOU WHO ARE WEARY AND BURDENED AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. Matthew 11:28.

LOVE REVOLUTION TIPS

LOVE REVOLUTION TIP OF THE WEEK:      www.joycemeyer.com/revolution

You don't need tips from me to begin your revolution but I figured I'd share some ideas, so for this week:

Go through your closets, rooms, and storage for a CLEAN SWEEP. We ALL have things that we don't need and you will be AMAZED at what you find and the space you will FREE UP! There are many people who can use your extra stuff! You can visit your local soup kitchen, homeless shelter, goodwill, salvation army, etc. Keep in mind this time of year the warmer the clothes the better and don't forget blankets and sleeping bags, socks, and thermal clothing, gloves n hats. I promise you it will go to good use and you will get so much out of it. :0)

Happy Thursday!

Make it count!

this is one line we will NOT be in.....whats your stand?

AP Poll: Third of parents oppose swine flu vaccine


Buzz up!398 votes Send


ATLANTA – As the first wave of swine flu vaccine crosses the country, more than a third of parents don't want their kids vaccinated, according to an Associated Press-GfK poll.
Some parents say they are concerned about side effects from the new vaccine — even though nothing serious has turned up in tests so far — while others say swine flu doesn't amount to any greater health threat than seasonal flu.
Jackie Shea of Newtown, Conn., the mother of a 5-year-old boy named Emmett, says the vaccine is too new and too untested.
"I will not be first in line in October to get him vaccinated," she said in an interview last month. "We're talking about putting an unknown into him. I can't do that."
The AP poll found that 38 percent of parents said they were unlikely to give permission for their kids to be vaccinated at school.
The belief that the new vaccine could be risky is one federal health officials have been fighting from the start, and they plan an unprecedented system of monitoring for side effects.
They note that swine flu vaccine is made the same way as seasonal flu vaccines that have been used for years. And no scary side effects have turned up in tests on volunteers, including children
On Wednesday, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius appealed for widespread inoculation against swine flu, vouching unconditionally for the vaccine: "We know it's safe and secure."
The AP poll, conducted Oct. 1-5, found 72 percent of those surveyed are worried about side effects, although more than half say that wouldn't stop them from getting the vaccine to protect their kids from the new flu.
Giving flu shots to schoolchildren is also an idea many parents are still getting used to. It was only last year that the government recommendation kicked in for virtually all children to get it. Seasonal flu vaccination rates for children last year ranged from about 48 percent for toddlers to about 9 percent for teens.
It traditionally takes a while for parents to learn about and accept a new vaccine and years for immunization rates to grow, said Dr. Matthew Davis, a University of Michigan Medical School associate professor who has overseen polling on flu issues.


Special swine flu vaccination clinics at schools are being planned in many states. Children are the main spreaders of infectious disease, and if large numbers are coming down with swine flu, there are ripple effects for everyone else.
The AP poll found 59 percent are likely to let their kids be vaccinated at school. But the kind of concerns voiced by parents could put a dent in public health efforts.A survey Davis directed for C.S. Mott Children's Hospital in Michigan suggested one reason for rejecting the vaccine is that about half of parents said they did not consider swine flu any worse than the seasonal bug.
"Basically, the swine flu is the flu. I'm not overly excited about it," said Julie Uehlein, a Tullahoma, Tenn., mother who is against swine flu vaccinations for her 8-year-old son and 3-year-old daughter.
"My concerns about the vaccine are what are the long-term effects," she added.
Some, like Shea, recall the 1976 swine flu immunization campaign that vaccinated 40 million Americans against an epidemic that never materialized. Worse, many who got the shots back then filed injury claims blaming health problems on the vaccine, with some reporting a paralyzing condition called Guillain-Barre syndrome.
Health officials did not find evidence the vaccine caused the condition, noting it occurs naturally anyway and would be bound to show up in such a large group. Many people were unjustifiably blaming all sorts of health problems on the vaccine, some health experts believe.
That's why the government is already trying to educate people about how common many health problems are, and why it's handing out cards telling people how to report any side effects.
For some parents, fears are compounded by worries about thimerosal, a mercury-based preservative that will be in roughly 60 percent of the 225 million swine flu doses ordered for Americans.
The preservative is not in the FluMist nasal spray, which can be given to healthy kids age 2 and older. But it's in many injectable doses, which are packaged in multi-dose vials that require thimerosal to prevent bacterial contamination.


Fears that the preservative or something in vaccines themselves can lead to autism remain entrenched in some quarters — despite no evidence from the most rigorous scientific studies.
Some autism advocacy groups echo parents' concerns about swine flu vaccine, and also argue it's a bad idea to spend so much time and money on the new flu.
"We're flipping out over swine flu, but it's only affected a few thousand people. Why isn't somebody freaking out about the autism epidemic?" said Wendy Fournier, president of the National Autism Association.
Vaccine makers are sensitive to demand for preservative-free shots. Parents can ask their doctors to order preservative-free, single-dose vaccine for their kids, said Dr. Tom Frieden, head of the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention.
As for his own two school-age children, Frieden said in a recent interview: "I would have no hesitation about getting my kids vaccinated by thimerosal-containing vaccines."
Health officials and many parents are strong believers in the vaccine, and warn about the potential dangers of a virus that has caused at least 9,000 U.S. hospitalizations and at least 600 deaths, including 60 children.
Jennifer Barnes enrolled herself and her two children in one of the government studies of the new vaccine, seizing an opportunity to get them all immunized before the illness became widespread.
"I thought, 'This is an opportunity to get the kids vaccinated, and I better jump on it,'" said Barnes, 32, a speech language pathologist who lives in Decatur, Ga.
Barnes said she gets her kids vaccinated against flu each year not only for their own health but to protect others. "My kids hang around kids who might have lowered immune systems. I would hate for them to get something and pass it on," she said.
Shea said she appreciates those arguments, but she's hesitated to talk about swine flu vaccine with other parents, who seem polarized on the topic. "There's the crunchy granola group" against flu vaccinations, she said, "and the very staunch, follow everything group" who extol them. She also worries that swine flu could become more widespread and dangerous than it is now. If that happens, she said, she would probably try to get her son vaccinated, though she's aware there are risks in waiting, too.
"It's one of those things where you're almost damned if you do, damned if you don't," she said.
The AP-GfK poll was based on a nationally representative sample of 1,003 adults age 18 or older, contacted by telephone on land lines and cell phones. The margin of sampling error is plus or minus 3.1 percentage points for all adults, 5.2 percentage points for parents.






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On the Net:






U.S. government swine flu Web site: http://www.flu.gov

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THE LOVE REVOLUTION!!

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...eh...

i haven't titled this entry. i think it's because i have so much on my mind that i can't come up with a proper one; or because there are so many things it could be. but i haven't blogged in so long that i'm entitled to a post that i  can't title or give any inclination of length. a lot is going on. here's the deal though. it aint about me. and thats the best part about it. i'm not even sure how to organize all of this so i'm just gonna go for it and tell you a little about my week and see where it goes. my intention is awareness. awareness of some issues that need to be talked about whether we want the gory details or not. and, because i am the type of reader that can't stand to sift through a bunch of words that don't really mean anything to me, i will propose to write that way. PEOPLE ARE STARVING. EVERYWHERE. they aren't just the typical ones we see (although they will get mention later) around town who maybe have skipped a meal or two. I'm talking about children around the world who are STARVING TO DEATH BEFORE THEY REACH 5 YEARS OLD. their parents are WATCHING THEM DIE. and there's nothing they can do to stop it. now, before you get all political on me hear me out a minute. does it really matter HOW THINGS GOT THIS WAY? WHAT THEIR PARENTS AND ANCESTORS DID OR DIDN'T DO? these children didn't asked to be brought into this life, or lack thereof. so there. shut your mouth and quit thinking about all the JUNK that has been put in your head regarding the issue. Here's a thought, out of all of Jesus' stories we hear a/b in the Bible (and for the religious in sunday school) which one of those went a little like this: "hello, I'm Jesus. I'm here to help you with whatever you may need. Are you hungry? Thristy? Naked? Hurting?" "well, yes, i am a little hungry for whatever you may have to spare and my kids could use some sandles." Jesus: "well.......let me think........hmmm.....let me just ask you a few questions a/b maybe why and how you got here, your history, your parents and grandparents or for heaven's sake why aren't you out working the fields instead of begging for food?" "and these kids you got here, well, i don't know if i have enough to feed you AND the kids....geeez man!" ......... okay, for those of you who know ANYTHING a/b our Saviour - come on! you know thats just crazy, right? last i checked, he made it a point to go out and about and seek and help and save and feed! and thats the only example i wanna follow. he didn't ask them to fill out a form or to have to prove who they are and why they are where they are, 10 forms of i.d and by the way if you want any assistance you will have to go through a 3 week program first.  see, we are ridiculously SCARED. we are just SO SCARED. we freeze in fear. fear of downtown, fear of parks, parking lots, alley ways, the hood, the projects, broken down apartment bldgs. you name it WE ARE AFRAID OF IT. so, what happens then? no one gets helped. no one is seen because we are simply just too uncomfortable to go there. so nothing. nothing is what happens. nothing is what gets done. and let me just say for a minute its a lot easier that way. easier to "bury your head" as i like to say and pretend it doesn't exist, or that someone else will pick up our slack.( I know...I did this). someone's hungry, naked, homeless, jobless but we'll just stay in our own little world and worry about the new car we don't have, the bigger house we can't buy and the clothes line we can't afford and even the newest greatest electronic device that our kids won't be getting this year. ( i could go on but i won't). because anyone with 1/2 a brain can see where i'm going. so we've established this much: 1. we are all scared to death 2. we are all so stinking selfish we can't see past ourselves. no i do not have every answer. no i am not at the point where i get up daily and rush to meet someone else's needs, but i can say i'm on my way. on my way to making SOME kind of difference in this world. after all, isn't that why we are here? and here's something else - are you ever offended by a beggar? turned off? annoyed? something to consider. if we all SHARED just a LITTLE of what we HAD, we probably wouldn't have beggars. did you know that the 7 WEALTHIEST people in the world have enough money to END world hunger? completely END it. 7 PEOPLE????!!!! there are  BILLIONS of us!!! i think where we went wrong is this: at what point did we decide everything we have is ours? that "we work hard so we deserve whatever we want" mentality? something occured to me  and i've tried so hard to live it out. I OWN NOTHING. MY NAME IS WORTH NOTHING IN THIS WORLD. I DON'T OWN MY KIDS, HUSBAND, THE CAR I DRIVE, THE HOME I LIVE IN. NOTHING. I DON'T EVEN OWN MY UNDERWEAR OR SOCKS. But my father does. I have a RICH DADDY in heaven who OWNS IT ALL AND SEES AND KNOWS IT ALL AND HAS MY BEST INTEREST AT HEART!! thats enough to shout. really. but back to my point - it's not ours. we are BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE WITH WHAT WE HAVE. but we have NOTHING if we can't admit that HE owns it all and we are lucky enough God sees fit for us to borrow it a little while! so here's an idea: it aint mine anyway,and i won't miss it and God calls me to be responsible and He's got another blessing in hand for me, so why not go on and give it away? and whatever level you can give or do is fine. God doesn't judge us based on amounts or some being able to give more or any of that stuff. He just asks that we take care of one another. thats it. however and how much ever you can. uncomfortable? yes. at times. unfamiliar? always. different? definately. worth it? you bet. so here's my challenge: how will you help? be creative. i started with bottled water this summer and let me tell you its a blast. this week, i went and dropped off a case at Miller Park and a case outside Patton Towers. i don't tell you this so that i can brag about what Amy's doing but just to help put it in prospective. its NOT HARD. (and all you really have to do is take a drive and you will see) those people love it.its just water. i mean, 3-4-5.00 water!! and you know what else? i tell them they have to pass it out, they have to share it. it's not just for one or two of them. there's power in that. in having THEM be the ones to SHARE. it does something, i know it does. so real quick, let me tell you what happened Tuesday. the girls were outta school and i had an errand downtown, so i figured i'd do the drive around the park and see what happened. there were people everywhere. i stopped and took the case of water to a few fellows, explained to them what to do and a sweet lady in a wheelchair stopped and asked for a hot sandwhich. i had NO food in the car whatsoever and appologized. next, i drove around to Patton Towers, explained what i  had and remembered i also had 2 bags of clothes in the trunk. i didn't think too much of the clothes b/c of the fact that i had left them, and the waters with a gentleman. (the clothes were mine so they weren't his size  and there were a few childrens items) but let me get to the good part: we drove around to get the way we needed to in order to head back to the interstate and i looked over and said "Girls, look at that little girl!" there was a precious little one about 2, sitting on a park bench there with her mom i suppose and the gentleman whom i'd left the bags of clothes with! they were looking through them! i was delighted! i said a prayer and said, oh God, let it be something they can use. see, it's that simple. and by the way, i haven't forgotten about the sandwich lady....i suppose next time i'm out, i'm going to have to plan for some food. wanna join me?

sabbath

Okay, now that I've gotten your attention, we all have our own opinions don't we? what is sabbath to you? think about it for a moment......why was it created? why does God bother to mention it? and beyond that, i happen to think He makes a pretty big deal about it. like, one of the 10 commandments. so if we believe and want to obey God and walk in all He has for us, then its something we need to explore. my intention is not to tell you what your sabbath should mean or should be in your life. after all, i am just another being on this planet that doesn't claim to "know" much of anything. my intention is to try and make you think. growing up, i knew no better than to just believe that the sabbath was sunday. (which is an different topic altogether!) you went to church, worked in the nursery, sang in the choir, attended sunday school. you spent time with family, (and thats if there wasn't any fried chicken after service) you went to choir practice and youth and bible study and training and prayer meeting , along with volunteering, and back to church. hear me out. those things are GREAT. those are some of the things that made me who I am today along with countless others. but lets face it. you WENT. you DID. you WORKED. let me say that again. you WORKED. now, i am not saying that some of us are not called to that or that there is anything wrong with it. i can only say what i'm learning and exploring for me. thats what it became for me. thats all. i'm simply encouraging you to take the time and ask God what should  sabbath mean for me?  there are plenty who must work on sunday (or saturday). take your minister or preacher for example. sure, that is part of their job. but ask them and i bet you will find they are observing their sabbath on a monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday or saturday. and if they aren't, they should be! we can only DO, WORK, and TAKE so much in a given week. take it from someone who knows. it is so very easy to keep on keepin on to the point that we are absolutely no good to anyone including US. wanna know something? i haven't "attended worship" in 4 weeks. yep, 4 weeks. is God still speaking to me? ministering to me? using me? helping me? you bet! i don't plan to stay out of "church" for another 4 weeks but if He called me to spend my time doing something else, i might. or like today, He put it in my spirit to stay home and REST and guess what? it was wonderful. it was what i needed. i was where i was supposed to be. so, how about you? following God is a daily, sometimes moment by moment thing. do you believe that God can call you to family time or alone time on a sunday (or saturday)? i do. i've seen it over and over again. we cannot make a religion out of attendance. thats what we have done as a christian society. religion, requirement, habit, job, etc.... i may not always understand what God is doing. i certainly don't get everything He asks of me! but i do believe that my part is obedience. to be open and available to do what He wants me to do. (no matter the day or time of the week!) and to trust Him. can we trust Him enough to miss sunday (or saturday) worship? can we? forgetting what our minds may be telling us (because of the way we are conditioned)? forgetting what someone else may think or even SAY?? forgive me, Lord because there's been plenty of times I condemned. i just simply didn't know any better. now, however, i do know better. and at the end of the day, who do i have to answer to anyway?

you never know what a day will bring

true. very true. do we really ever know what lies ahead? nope, we don't. rarely ever. like you may have an agenda or an idea but do we can't REALLY now whats gonna happen until we're in the moment, right? And so often I am learning that it's just best to not have certain expectations at all. Things change SO much and SO fast and I'm learning that we really just don't have a clue when it comes to God and His ways.  I was awake several times this morning and finally at 5, decided, heck somethings going on or God wants my attention or something. i hopped up on my feet like there was business to take care of. actually,there was. but before i knew it i was starting off my morning and for those who know me, THIS is enough to rock my world. i DON'T jump up at 5 AM!!!! unless of course there's a major something.....like a fire alarm or someone spewing something from the next room....REALLY. i say all of that to say this: don't ignore the God alarm. it can be 12:30 am, right after you have drifted off. It can be between 1, 2 or 3 am (which is usually when it happens for me) the 3 o'clocks are a TON of fun! my point is this, someone, somewhere needs you. It may be God wants to chat. It may be He wants you to see, feel or experience something that you wouldn't normally do, because let's get real, you wouldn't normally be awake or aware at that time. Maybe someone needs prayer. Could be someone you know, but doesn't have to be. We are ALL called to be intercessors on each others behalf.  I went through MOST of my entire morning not knowing exactly what was "up." But eventually, throughout my day, it started coming to me. In fact, its an issue I've been stressing for several days. It was TIME to LET GO and GIVE it BACK to GOD!!  just lost a/b 4-5 lines....oh my.....well, i think where i was going was this : you may not even know what you were in prayer for , who you may be standing in the gap for until much time has passed. like you will hear something, or see something or experience an event and it will click in you. "oh yeah, thats why i was up praying." its true. it happens. will you be willing to get up and get on your knees? just say something like, "ok, God, i know this is You, whats on your mind?" "what can i do?" "how can I pray?" "what do you want with me?" I challenge you. The God alarm IS sounding. Will we ignore it? We are called and commanded to strive to have HIS heart.

p.s.this is a challenge for me as well.... NO i do not get up and pray every time i am awakened. however, i must ask; what am i missing when i don't?

God bless!

strange day

so don't let the title fool you...it wasn't really all that 'strange'...just when things don't evolve the way i think they should sometimes, then i have a tendency to think somethings weird. however, it was a good day. i actually spent most of the day at home and that was much needed. i spent my morning praying and listening...and taking some things back to God again. it was quite peaceful and enjoyable and i must say i am in need of more of that! my girls (who are 5 & 7) had a half day at school so unfortunately, the bliss didn't last forever. but thats okay, they are very blissful just a different kind! they came home and played and played and i was able to nap. it was great. not sure my body knew what was going on, and i felt rather cranky the rest of the day but i do think i needed it. then, duane called. around 5, i think. it's nice to talk but it's funny you kind of run out of things to say....but at the same time you just want that person to be there, on the other line and you're okay with the silence. (for those uninformed he's out of the country right now) i think it's because duane and i are so close and have spent so much time in silence (as well as lots of conversation in 12 years, don't get me wrong) but there's something good about just being able to "be" together. i love that. it's one of my favorite trait in relationships! a lot of people who know me well, can't imagine me ever being quiet but i do have that side. and i had to learn it. not so much around people, but by myself. thats an interesting thing - try it! at first its so very strange and for me i have a hard time just sitting still but once i have begun to practice it, i get so much out of it! just pausing throughout the day is vital, i think. granted, those times can be very hard to come by for most people but next time you find yourself alone and with even a moment of time....give it a shot. turn down the music in the car, turn off the news (for HEAVENS sake) on the t.v., go to a room (even the bathroom) and shut the door, step outside for a moment, or take a walk. if you have children, pause for a moment as they are drifting off for nap or bedtime, or with older children begin to teach them the value of silence, and "alone time" - we call it quiet time here. it doesn't happen that often, but we are working on it. i guess what i'm saying is we have to be able to find comfort in that. then, we can enjoy those moments with others. and the best part? the listening. God is always speaking, are we taking the time to hear it?
happy labor day weekend!! make it count.

i made it

wow. i'm here...i'm here, i'm here, i'm here! it's like a road trip where you know and can even taste the destination but for some reason you just can't actually make it. blogging? seriously? i mean i feel as though i am lighyears behind. my intensions to start blogging started well over a year ago now. oh well, what can i say, life happens. not only does life happen, but because of that, where in the world do i begin? maybe i'll just let my fingers do the talking, seeming quite random but isn't that the point? and here's another question i have, can i do this? can i let the most inner thoughts out? surely it's therapeutic, however, could be a trust issue, right? i guess i can only test the "waters". speaking of waters, boy i have been truly enlightened about water lately on several different levels. i was inspired a couple of months ago to begin giving bottled water away. i shared it with my closest friend and she agreed to help. we don't get to do it as often as i would like but life is one day at a time and honestly, sometimes it just doesn't fit. i've learned something though. it doesn't matter if you get to do something every day, what matters is that you have intent and are trying. most of the time, you get an opportunity and water or not, we can make a difference. i think thats what led me to the water thing. i was praying about the needy, the poor, the downcast and broken hearted and i asked God, what can i do? isn't there something out there, some way i can help that maybe no one else has tapped into? and then boom, there it was. it doesn't sound like much. just bottled water. but here's the thing. we are all in need of water. we need it for our bodies, in fact, our bodies crave it. secondly, i believe it has extreme spiritual revelance. water is life. Jesus said, if anyone comes to you thirsty, give them a drink. so it's that simple. why not give it away? not make someone even have to ask. and here's something else, it's FREE. sure, someone's paying for it, but it's terribly inexpensive and my money belongs to God anyhow. another thing about testing the waters.....God has been showing me some pretty drastic things. changes. the new. letting go. closing chapters and beginning new ones. some of it exciting and some of it not so great. good feelings. scary feelings. i'm talking out of the box stuff. and thats good, but uncomfortable all at once. so i proceed to ask God about that too. whats the deal? why am i struggling? i'm just trying to follow Your lead and have peace about things but still the questions and battle seem to go on. heres what He showed me: you just gotta let down your net. my net? haven't i been doing that? asking, searching, seeking, knocking, and DOING??! and your asking me to let down my net? what, get a new net? "No." "I'm asking you to go DEEPER. And, to go DEEPER, you have to trust Me more." Oh.... okay....... that's interesting. back to that trust thing again, huh? so i can be moving right along the path you have for me, God....and then all of the sudden it happens, things change a little...or a lot. Change in a way I didn't expect them to. Now what? How do I respond? Only by more conversation with my father. The only ONE who knows it ALL. Do I always get an immediate answer? No....but I do get enough that I can get my peace back and move on. I may have to go back to God every other minute, but eventually things settle. I'm not always gonna get it right. In fact, I'm gonna get it wrong a LOT more than I get it right because I am but flesh just trying to make it in a fallen world. A world that seems to be falling more every second. Thank God for Jesus. Thank God He had a plan, and has a plan. Thank God for the Holy Spirit who comes as our counselor. Thank God that he LOVES us, unconditionally and like no other can! Thank God for mercy and grace. LOTS of grace!! Thank God for all things. For life and breath. For water. And freedom, and for as long as we have it - the ability to give it.