Step by Step = Full Circle

So, I have this hunch I've got to write. Again, it's been literally weeks but here goes. The problem is I'm not exactly sure what about. As usual, I can follow the Spirits guiding but like in areas of my life, I stutter due to the fact that I can't see whats ahead of me. Even now, I shake my head at that statement. What a brat, I think. MOST people I know have no idea whats ahead of them, what makes you different or special? In other words we have a right to question things at certain times but we just can't stay there. I've heard it said that until we take the first step towards anything, its very unlikely that we will ever see or know the following steps. They will only be revealed as we take the FIRST one. But wait, the FIRST one is scary. Its too big, too much, too out of the box. What will people think or say or do? The FIRST step often feels as though there are no other steps!! Uh oh, then what? Think like an infant for a moment. Again, this is someone elses analogy but stay with me. The baby wants to walk and knows it needs to walk (God given nature). The baby isn't really sure how to walk, or what walking feels like, or sometimes isn't too familiar yet with what will result in the walking. However, with the guidance of the PARENT, everything changes. And you have seen it. We see the success of  healthy, sound babies who have every bit of the parents attention and love and how well they do with the overwhelming task. And then some of us have seen the baby who struggles to do what is predicted due to the parent that can't or won't spend the time to teach them. I'm glad to say my FATHER is completely in love with me! He won't for one minute take His eyes off of me while I take those first few scary, wobbly steps! He's guiding me, by His hand or sometimes both hands. As children of God, we don't have to worry that we have ended up with the parent who doesn't care of we ever walk, therefore leading to a debilitating, crippling life. NO. He is ONLY interested in the success, victory and freedom of seeing all of His children grow. What an opportunity we have. If we CHOOSE HIS will for our lives, then He is in it. Head first, all the way, completely and totally IN IT with us! We  have a choice. We can like many, choose our own path for our lives. God won't force us to do things His way. But its a tough road. He doesn't promise us the assistance we can get when we go with Him. He loves us either way. He loves us whichever road we choose, however the consequences can be GREAT by choosing our way. We are human and without communion with His Holy Spirit, how lost we can become. He will be there to meet us, anytime, anywhere. Thats how good God is and how much He loves us. But, my challenge is this: wouldn't we rather just go with God no matter the cost? Its not paradise, and it gets tough too......but the upside is the confidence that you are walking with Him. Life can be hard either way. Here's a thought - we are going to mess up at some point, or several points along the way. I'd like to think that even when I get it wrong - major wrong- that I've got someone to help me along. I can depend on God to answer my SOS when things aren't quite comfortable or haven't gone the way I'd like. Not only that, if I stay close enough; I can even discern when the Spirit within me is saying "NO, that's not the way, that's not it." Rather than, not having a clue and trying to depend on my intellect or intuition. (thats scary!). There's a price on this road. God's path for us. The gift of His everlasting love and grace and mercy and everything else that HE IS is free. Always. Don't confuse that. The point I'm trying to make is that as humans, living in this fallen world there is sacrifice made to follow God. Our flesh wants what it wants. We have to want what the Spirit wants. OUCH! Yes. It hurts. A lot. For me, it is almost a CONSTANT battle that I didn't anticipate participating in. Spirit vs. Flesh. Wow. Sometimes such a fine line, too. Again, all we can do is daily (sometimes hourly!) continue to give every element of our lives BACK to God. See, I believe that this amazing, wonderful, free, blessed life that Amy Darby lives belongs to God. I started with God. I haven't always let Him have all of me, and others tried to steal me away from Him, but  again back to the battle.....but what I mean is that He started all of this and so I don't really own this (life)  but its my stinking human nature that continues to want to take hold. Hence, the "giving back."  That along with circumstances in our lives BELONG TO GOD. He promises to take anything and everything we are willing to LET Him have, and make it beautiful! (Is.61:3). I don't know where you are personally. I don't know what your mess is, what your "ashes" may be. For some its circumstances, for others its that stinking flesh I referred to. We all have battles. Some of us have WAY more batle than we would have ever dreamed of having. And lets admit it: no one LIKES fighting. But we have them, so what can we do? WE can do very little. In our own power, I mean. Very little.......In fact I've just about decided I have no interest in fighting alone. Yes, it takes work on my part. Effort. Dedication. Saying no to things, saying yes to some I'd rather not. (flesh) But for me, I desire life abundant (John 10:10). I want ALL things that God desires to give me. Its simply a choice, a decision. Where are you? Where do you want to be? In God, we can have and be whatever we want, according to His will, and He wants to give us the desires of our hearts! (Ps. 37:4)  And HE knows whats best for us anyhow. Remember, I started with Him - it only makes sense to do all I can to end with Him.