i made it

wow. i'm here...i'm here, i'm here, i'm here! it's like a road trip where you know and can even taste the destination but for some reason you just can't actually make it. blogging? seriously? i mean i feel as though i am lighyears behind. my intensions to start blogging started well over a year ago now. oh well, what can i say, life happens. not only does life happen, but because of that, where in the world do i begin? maybe i'll just let my fingers do the talking, seeming quite random but isn't that the point? and here's another question i have, can i do this? can i let the most inner thoughts out? surely it's therapeutic, however, could be a trust issue, right? i guess i can only test the "waters". speaking of waters, boy i have been truly enlightened about water lately on several different levels. i was inspired a couple of months ago to begin giving bottled water away. i shared it with my closest friend and she agreed to help. we don't get to do it as often as i would like but life is one day at a time and honestly, sometimes it just doesn't fit. i've learned something though. it doesn't matter if you get to do something every day, what matters is that you have intent and are trying. most of the time, you get an opportunity and water or not, we can make a difference. i think thats what led me to the water thing. i was praying about the needy, the poor, the downcast and broken hearted and i asked God, what can i do? isn't there something out there, some way i can help that maybe no one else has tapped into? and then boom, there it was. it doesn't sound like much. just bottled water. but here's the thing. we are all in need of water. we need it for our bodies, in fact, our bodies crave it. secondly, i believe it has extreme spiritual revelance. water is life. Jesus said, if anyone comes to you thirsty, give them a drink. so it's that simple. why not give it away? not make someone even have to ask. and here's something else, it's FREE. sure, someone's paying for it, but it's terribly inexpensive and my money belongs to God anyhow. another thing about testing the waters.....God has been showing me some pretty drastic things. changes. the new. letting go. closing chapters and beginning new ones. some of it exciting and some of it not so great. good feelings. scary feelings. i'm talking out of the box stuff. and thats good, but uncomfortable all at once. so i proceed to ask God about that too. whats the deal? why am i struggling? i'm just trying to follow Your lead and have peace about things but still the questions and battle seem to go on. heres what He showed me: you just gotta let down your net. my net? haven't i been doing that? asking, searching, seeking, knocking, and DOING??! and your asking me to let down my net? what, get a new net? "No." "I'm asking you to go DEEPER. And, to go DEEPER, you have to trust Me more." Oh.... okay....... that's interesting. back to that trust thing again, huh? so i can be moving right along the path you have for me, God....and then all of the sudden it happens, things change a little...or a lot. Change in a way I didn't expect them to. Now what? How do I respond? Only by more conversation with my father. The only ONE who knows it ALL. Do I always get an immediate answer? No....but I do get enough that I can get my peace back and move on. I may have to go back to God every other minute, but eventually things settle. I'm not always gonna get it right. In fact, I'm gonna get it wrong a LOT more than I get it right because I am but flesh just trying to make it in a fallen world. A world that seems to be falling more every second. Thank God for Jesus. Thank God He had a plan, and has a plan. Thank God for the Holy Spirit who comes as our counselor. Thank God that he LOVES us, unconditionally and like no other can! Thank God for mercy and grace. LOTS of grace!! Thank God for all things. For life and breath. For water. And freedom, and for as long as we have it - the ability to give it.